News

American Idol: Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged

Carmel Lobello :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 8:00 pm

The “American Idol” panel of judges is in a state of turmoil. It started with Paula Abdul quitting, which led to the utterly bizarre choice of filling her shoes with Ellen Degeneres, who, however funny and likable, really had no place there to start with. Now the long-awaited cultural event of Simon Cowell’s retirement is finally upon us, and now we’re suddenly hearing rumors that Kara Dioguardi is being fired as well.

With all the upheaval, I’d like to propose that “Idol” lose Randy as well (why is the weakest link the last one standing?) and while we’re at it, suggest a dream team of “American Idol” judges to lead the ratings back into the 33 million and up range. MORE »

Five Deep Thoughts for the Weekend

Matt Kiebus :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 7:00 pm

As the chapter closes on another work week and we look forward to our weekends of doing lawn work, drinking ourselves into midday naps, or going to the beach. Lets consider what slightly richer more important people are probably doing this weekend.

Bill Clinton is slipping off the wedding ring to hit on guests at his daughters wedding reception. Jimmy Fallon’s current stage manager now knows exactly why she has her job. Snooki might be spending the night in Seaside Heights municipal jail. Drew Carey is plotting more ways be completely uninteresting to people that watch TV at 11 a.m. Monday-Friday. And Tina Fey is already mailing Tracy Morgan the script for 30 Rock’s live show this fall. MORE »

Solange Knowles: Too R&B for Whiteface

Carmel Lobello :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 6:36 pm

Question: If it dresses like a hipster, dances like a hipster, and sings like a hipster, does that make it a hipster?

Answer: Only if it wears whiteface like a hipster.

Beautiful B’s ‘lil sis, Solange Knowles performed “Sex Karma” with Of Montreal on “Jimmy Fallon” last night. It was a strange affair– the entire band wore white face paint, and a few of the guys had what looked like a tea party of mimes on stage, while Kevin Barnes and Solange crooned a dancey little number to each other. Solange opted out of the whiteface, which distinguished her as Of Montreal’s R&B visitor, and brought brought the whole performance from weird and ghostly to sexy and awesome.

While we always expect the siblings of superstars to fall short, Solange sounds and looks like her own entity.

Oh, and Of Montreal’s new album “False Priest,” due out in September, is going to fucking rock.

Check out the performance after the jump: MORE »

The Final Frontier: Iron Maiden Goes To Space

Gray Hurlburt :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 5:35 pm

The scope of Iron Maiden’s fictitious universe spans the history of zombie skeletons on Earth, where mascot Eddie menaces from ratty t-shirts and album covers. All he wants is women and killing, making him ideal for a role in the next big action adventure. Thanks to visual effects, his time to shine has come.

In consort with Iron Maiden’s newest album, “The Final Frontier,” comes a five minute space drama that packs a wallop of cinematic zing. Let realistic fire and the opera of Bruce Dickinson’s voice entertain you. Just don’t ask questions, because the only answers are monster vs. human combat, majestic guitars, and overt nods to canonical science fiction movies. See for yourself! MORE »

How Dick Destroyed My Ice Cream Innocence

Andrew Belonsky :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 4:15 pm

You know what’s absolutely crummy about getting old? Loss of innocence.

Dreams and concepts that were once so wondrous—like Santa Claus or a steady job—crumble under the weight of reality, leaving precious few institutions that have not been tainted by maturation.

Despite a few new stories of ice cream trucks being used to deal drugs, the traveling confectioneries remain an integral part of the idyllic, immaculate American summer. Their absence creates a vacuum so massive that joy ceases to exist, a sad fact to which Pete, Pete and Michael Stipe can attest.*

With their frosty treats, flashing lights and annoying, yet endearing melodies, ice cream trucks appear immune to the slow decay of experience. Unless, of course, one’s childhood wasn’t so innocent.
MORE »

Put Shat on That! New A&E Talk Show Reveals Captain Kirk’s Interrogation Skills

Chelsea Fisher :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 3:45 pm

The Priceline Negotiator can not only get you a good deal on your hotel stay, he can also get notorious criminals to release previously unknown information.

In his new show called “Aftermath” on A&E, William Shatner does follow-up interviews with people who made headlines a couple of years earlier. In his most recent interview, The Shat interviewed one of the infamous D.C. snipers, Lee Boyd Malvo, from jail.

The inmate confessed to Shatner that he and the other convicted gunman, John Muhammad, had co-conspirators, and were even involved in other shootings. MORE »

Chippy D (A.K.A. Laurence Fishburne’s Daughter) To Star In Porn

Matt Kiebus :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 2:45 pm

How bad do you want to be famous? How far would you go to realize your dreams of making a shitload of money while simultaneously having no redeemable value to society?

According to Laurence Fishburne’s daughter, Montana, the best way to get your name in lights is releasing an old-fashioned sex tape. Want the respect of advertisers, a clothing store, maybe a show on “E!”? Just get railed on camera and release it to the public. “I watched how Kim Kardashian became [famous] and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape.” MORE »

Daft Punk’s Tron Score Leaked on YouTube

Gray Hurlburt :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 1:45 pm

Earlier this week, we reported that a Seattle radio station had leaked soundbites from the Tron soundtrack.

Then a bombshell landed on YouTube, when nine songs from the forthcoming soundtrack appeared in their entirety, making Daft Punk the newest arrivals at the “my album leaked on YouTube” party.

We’ve listened with open ears, and it’s pretty safe to call these the real deal.

North Korean Soccer Team Gets Punished for Sucking

Chelsea Fisher :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 1:00 pm

Today North Korea forced its soccer team to sit for a six-hour interrogation before 400 people to determine what went wrong in its dismal World Cup appearance.

This is apparently “getting off lightly” by North Korean standards, as failed athletes in the past have been rumored to go to prison camps. MORE »

Lindsey Graham’s Generic American Part of Larger Problem

Andrew Belonsky :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 12:45 pm

Lindsey Graham remains crystal clear when it comes to so-called “anchor babies:” Children of illegal aliens should not be “American.”

“People come here to have babies,” the South Carolina Republican told Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren this week. “They come here to drop a child. It’s called ‘drop and leave.’ …They cross the border, they go to the emergency room, have a child, and that child’s automatically an American citizen. That shouldn’t be the case. That attracts people here for all the wrong reasons.”

Hoping to curtail baby-minded migration, Graham wants to pass a constitutional amendment that will strip the newborn of any “American” identity. His proposal’s wild, sure, but I’m more concerned by his usage of “American,” which perpetuates a politically malignant misnomer.
MORE »

Ticket Giveaway: Spiritualized At Radio City Music Hall

Alex Moore :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 12:00 pm

Today is the last day in our ticket giveaway week, and we’re giving away 2 pairs of tickets to Spiritualized at Radio City Music Hall.

To win: follow us on Facebook and write on our wall telling us you’d like to go. At 4 p.m. we’ll pick 2 winners and notify you on Facebook. Your tickets will be held at will call.

(Note: you have to both follow us and write on the wall letting us know your name to win.)

This is probably your last chance to see their signature performance of 1997 masterpiece “Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space” with the symphony, choir and all the bells and whistles.

Tix are courtesy of our friends at ZYNC from American Express. Spiritualized tonight 7/30 at Radio City Music Hall.

Obama’s Appearance on “The View” Still Better Than Palin

Chelsea Fisher :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 11:45 am

So just about everyone was weary of Obama going on “The View.”

The world watched as the hosts groveled over the president, interrupting his answers to ensure they got to ask him their own personal questions. And we all saw that Barbara Walters was a little upset when Obama decidedly said none of them would be invited to his daughters’ weddings (which will, by the way, will probably happen long after Bawbwa is dead.)

Even though it was maybe not Obama’s finest moment, Sarah Palin tweeted in response to his appearance, and reminded us that nothing is worse than her. MORE »

Hot Chip and LCD Soundsystem Touring Together

Chelsea Fisher :: Friday, July 30th, 2010 10:51 am

Dance enthusiasts (and all around good-music lovers) rejoice: LCD Soundsystem and Hot Chip are planning a tour together!

A few UK dates have been released, and it appears they plan on some U.S. dates as well. They already have a show planned in Milwaukee.

More info will be released soon. Until then I will train and hydrate for the dancing that will ensue. Keep reading for scheduled tour dates. MORE »

Kindle 3 Announced: Thinner, Cheaper, Now With Wi-Fi

Travis Walter Donovan :: Thursday, July 29th, 2010 8:15 pm

Earlier today, we reported that Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos announced his expectation for e-books to outsell traditional paperback books in 9 to 12 months. Sure, e-books recently beat out hardcover sales for the first time, but this still came as a somewhat surprising statement considering many die-hard readers’ devoted preference for old school page flippin’.

In light of SlashGear reporting on Tuesday that current Amazon Kindles had shockingly sold out, it’s no surprise what motive was really behind Bezos’ hard-to-swallow statement, whether he actually believes it or not:

The Kindle 3 has now arrived! Cheaper and thinner, it’s vying to be the hot girl next door to compete with Apple’s elegantly untouchable iPad. MORE »

The Jersey Shore Drinking Game

Matt Kiebus :: Thursday, July 29th, 2010 7:15 pm

Tonight “The Jersey Shore” returns to living rooms across the country in the highly anticipated premiere of season two.

The last time we saw our heros there was a lot of cockblocking, grenade launching, name calling, and a gym teacher punching a legal midget in the face. It was arguably the guiltiest pleasure in television history. Now it’s back—and in Miami. God save us all.

Tonight when you’re watching with your favorite jucieheads and guidettes, a drinking game is just as necessary as G.T.L. (Gym, Tan, Laundry) MORE »